Date: Wed, 23 Oct 96
From: Eyler Coates, Sr.
Subject: How Bubba can possibly lose
The only way he could lose is the way the former governor of Louisiana
said was the only way HE could lose:
Being found in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.
Have a nice day.
Eyler
Thanks for stopping by The Daily Muse and taking
the time to drop us a note. I'm not sure
what to do with your suggestions for Bubba's demise since the
Muse IS a family publication (We'll see if we
get up the courage to print your answer),
but we appreciate the feedback....
Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996
From: Eyler Coates, Sr.
Subject: Re: Bubba's bedtime habits/The Daily Muse
Don't be afraid! This was printed in the papers down here, I think, though
I did not see it. It was told to me by my 76 year old sister, who is a
hard-shell Baptist. ;-)
Best wishes,
Eyler
Date: Sun, 03 Nov 1996
From: Rex Webster
Organization: Univeristy of Colorado, Boulder
Subject: How Bubba can possibly lose
What we don't realize is that the shady John Huang was importing
Indonesian aphrodisiacs FOR Dick Morris in an awful menage-a-trois
between Bubba, Dickie-Poo and Madonna in her Eva Perron garb. Viva the
revolution (or is that gyrations?)
Fondly,
R. Webster
Date: Mon, 04 Nov 1996
From: Adam Cooper
Subject: How Bubba can possibly lose
HE DIES!
Date: Fri, 01 Nov 96
From: Chris Delisio
Subject: How can Bubba possibly lose
If Bubba starts blabbing about how he really wants to use the White House
to get money and chicks.
From: Rob Kemp
Subject: How Bubba can possibly lose
Date: Tue, 22 Oct 1996
Bill Clinton is found in bed with a dead girl or an 11-year-old boy. Both
are possibilities with this slime bucket!
From: Rob Kemp
Subject: Hello Muse
Date: Tue, 22 Oct 1996
I usually have a better sense of humor
but this election with Bubba would
try the patience of a dead man (I am not referring to Vince Foster). It is
a sad state of affairs when the man without character Bill Clinton is the
frontrunner with American voters.
I enjoy your publication and, looking at the positive side of things, Slick
Willie will provide 4 years of great material.
Sincerely,
Rob Kemp
From: Rob Kemp
Date: Mon, 28 Oct 1996
I vote for Bob Dole.
Ross Perot states the truth when he said on 'Meet DEpress'
that there will be a constitutional crisis when
Bubba is impeached.
R. Kemp
From: JCuster678
Date: Sun, 20 Oct 1996
Subject: Yes!!!
Finally, a decent smear site against Bubba. I've visited a few thus far and
none of them have been quite as good as yours. Good work!
From: Stacey Parks
Date: Wed, 23 Oct 96
Organization: home
Subject: Dole page
The absolute best Dole commentary and humor on the NET. Keep up the
great work!!
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 1996
From: Ryan
Organization: Student
Subject: Dole work
you suck
Date: Wed, 30 Oct 1996
From: Jay Miller
Subject: Another 4 years?
Two years ago, I counted down the days till the end of Bubbadaze.
I get so damned wrapped up in all this political stuff I send myself
to exhaustion only to find that there is going to be a Bubbadaze sequel,
that will probably be chock full of cool new impeachable offenses that
the non Muse media will sweep under the rug. Knowing you folks are around
will go a long way toward reminding me that there are a few thinkers left
in the world. You always make my day.
Thanks for being here. If Bubba will quit attacking small business people,
I shall endeavor to hopefully become a sponser.
Jay S. Miller
Nitebird
Seeker of truth, knowledge, and the American Way...sometimes, unfortunatly
justice doesn't always necessarily prevail.
http://www.geocities.com/capitolhill/4586
Date: Thu, 31 Oct 96
From: Erik A. Kraft
Organization: UW-Madison
Subject: An idea...
I think it would inject some life into the faltering Dole campaign if the
candidate came out as hip-hop M.C. Robby D. You know, appeal to the kids.
Imagine M.C. Robby D. laying down a phat campaign rhyme, wielding a mike
in his good hand while arythmically moving his vestigal limb. Desperate
times...
Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996
From: James Fletcher
Subject: Music in the White House
Hey man
I'm a player and another player and I were spoofing on Clinton being a
sax player. We decided that the Prez needed some competition from the
other party so here is our take on the Republicans. It might just make
Bob a little more electable. Newty and Bob should start a band and call
themselves "Newtie and the Dolefish". They would be a real hoot.
What do you think? We coined this name 10-24-96. Use it if you like.
Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996
From: Cathy Mehne
Organization: Pacesetter REALTORS
Subject: just a comment
I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed reading your page because
it's so funny. I especially liked the phrase "Bobdole."
From: Rich Moellers
Date: Wed, 23 Oct 96
You know...Dole has received the plum endorsement of rocker
Ted Nugent. I can hear it now:
"Bobdole likes Ted Nugent."
"Bobdole thinks Nugent kicks ass!"
"Bobdole's got Cat Scratch Fee-vuh!"
Actually...Dole is a remarkable person...and an inspiration
to many. He can do ANYTHING with one good arm: drive, write,
count his electoral votes...you name it!
Hey Rich,
Lay off Bob's arm, will ya? He's got enough problems without
you reminding him of his disability.
Date: Tue, 22 Oct 1996
From: Deborah Steinbach
Subject: O.J.
Heraldo Reviera-Sucks!
If anyone needed to be booted from the air it's him!!!
I think he's the cheapest s--- that they could hire!
He's nothing more than a prostitute/trick!
THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH FOR ALLOWING ME TO VENT!!!
Hello Deborah,
You're welcome.
So how do you REALLY feel about the guy?
Date: Tue, 22 Oct 1996
From: Randy
Subject: Stuff about this old guy I heard on the radio
It's been a while since I dropped by and said "Hi" but I ran over this
tidbit that I thought you would enjoy.
I just heard this on National Public Radio (10/22, 8:15 AM)...
"Foreign aid is coming to America...from the Buddhist Temple in Los
Angeles."
--from a sound clip of Bob Dole speaking about Bill Clinton's campaign
financing.
It really is just as funny as it is frightening.
Hello Randy,
Speaking of old guys, a true study released today says
smoking may prevent Alzheimer's. Not sure if Philip Morris's
partial sponsorship had anything to do with it.
Date: Fri, 18 Oct 1996
From: Kelly M Patrick
Subject: Government
Dear Sir,
All I can say is "Don't blame me I voted for Bush and Dole!"
Date: Sun, 13 Oct 1996
From: Michael Thacker
Subject: Penny ante
Great stuff! Whoever does this page has real talent! (content and
GRAPHICS)
Date: Fri, 11 Oct 96
From: Laurie Browne
Thanks for the fun....and I appreciate the work that goes into this.
Just wanted to stop in and smile.
Regards,
Laurie
From: Suzie Breneman
Subject: Note
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 1996
Hi: Read your plea and decided I should write and thank you for
providing your WONDERFUL Site......does this qualify as a "good"
note? I (think) I found you by way of USA Today and
CONK....although in browsing around, I sorta' get lost in cyberspace
sometimes. BUT, and that's a BIG BUT, (not spelled butt, thank you),
I HAVE bookmarked your URL so that I can return often for a visit.
(Show this one to somebody you want to impress!)...even though I live
waaaayyyyy out in the country I can still keep up with what's
happening in the world, thanks to people like you!
Sincerely,
suzieb
Date: Sat, 12 Oct 96
From: Bill Oman
Dear Muse,
My wife says my thoughts are not worth a red cent so if someone out
there is willing to pay a penny on the thought my accountant says I
should shell out for a thinking cap, or better, shuck the clothes, put
my fist under my chin and sit in front of a library. (Now that sounds
like I let my accountant do my thinking for me which means he would get
the penny, wouldn't he . . . ??)
On another matter (no charge for this one), I just read that the
West Va. militia wanted to blow up the FBI fingerprint bureau in
Clarksville. Now that's the hard way. The easy way, now that he's
retired, is to have Mark Fuhrman moonlight part-time [or, maybe the
militia were really sent to close all the--gates in Washington.] Can't
wait till Bobdole campaigns in West Virginia.
Cheers,
Bill Oman
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 1996
From: Mike E. Howard
Organization: DCCCD
Subject: Huh?!
Hey, guys, wake up and smell the campaign. The lead article hasn't
changed since Monday. During this time: the FDIC says Hillary is a
naughty lady; the Jock and the Tree have had a debate; Clinton has had
683 photo ops signing bills to give 8,421 official White House
Presidential BIC pens to potential voters. The planet is still spinning.
How about you?
Mike Howard
From: Angie.Wehunt
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 1996
Subject: DAILY?!
I love this page! It's great because I really get disgusted with the
news, and often will avoid watching the news just to spare my own
frustrations. The Daily Muse takes a great look at what is going on
in the world and gets me interested. One gripe: DAILY leads me to
believe that this would be updated DAILY, I've not discovered the
consistency. It seems more to me like it should be called "Muse
Week", or "Muse, whenever the hell we feel like it."
Hello Mike,
Hello Angie,
So what if you can't set you watch by The Daily Muse.
You get what you pay for. Actually, the staff just returned
from a much needed off-line break after more than a year of
(nearly) daily updates. If you're feeling sorry that you sent
that note just about now, don't. Because we'll be kicking through
your screen with another edition soon enough.
From: ressa@ibm
Date: Mon, 07 Oct 1996
Subject: Bob Dole
When you're not the president of the United States of America, clearly you're
not in the hot seat. Bob Dole ultimately had the upper hand and it
showed. Before this debate I was for Clinton but now.....
I look at it this way, I liked Clinton, he did what I needed him to do (except of
course raise taxes), now I'm done with him. It's time for a fresh face.
It's like when you hire someone new in your company. He makes you alot
of money but then the money doesn't get any higher. Nothing personal but
you must move on to another fresh new face.
I liked what Clinton did for my family but what else does he plan to do?
I'm finished with Bill Clinton. It's time for a new man for the job.
We also need to protect our family from violence, Clinton is too soft. I
would like to continue but I do not want to bore you with my opinions.
I'm sure you have alot of people writing in.
One more question. How do we stop the layoffs in this country? How come
(Clinton and Dole) did not touch on this subject? Companies are laying off
half America. It's horrible!!!
Date: Fri, 04 Oct 1996
From: Lou Mogano
Subject: Dolesternomics
F I N A L L Y. . . . .
The general electorate gets the opportunity to do what only registered
Republicans have been able to achieve on 4 previous occassions...and
that is...TO TELL BOB DOLE TO SIT DOWN & SHUT UP!!!
Unfortunately, Bob Dole is going to take Bob Kemp down with him.
Date: Tue, 15 Oct 1996
From: george crane
Subject: kudos
As in "praise for the fine service you render to humanity for
uploading all your humorous observations" Not as in "cave" or "hollow"
(Japanese meanings). I have you bookmarked and visit you twice as
often as I visit any other news source. You're much more credible
than any of the biggies like CNN or Electronic Telegraph. Keep up the
good work!
george
Date: Sat, 05 Oct 1996
From: John Hill
Subject: Your roving reporter
Having nothing better to do, I decided to run down to the courthouse and
catch the happenings at the Mark Fuhrman N-word hearing. It was
gratifying to see the fourth estate so well represented, (the media at
it's rollicking best,) interviewing and recording all and sundry whose
complaints, whimperings, and righteous outrage at Fuhrman's heinous
perjury, met with their stringent agenda. Amidst this gaggle of
reportage I was pleased to find a contingent of white liberals, black
activists, and White Queen minions, who all seemed to be chanting "Off
With His Head." Now this is serious shit, mind you. I mean material
perjury is a first class felony in the State of California, and all
these good people want is nothing more than to see justice finally done.
Concerned citizenry at its finest, I'll tell you! I was particularly
affected by the words of one gentleman who seemed to voice the
sentiments of the rapidly growing crowd. "If that MF don't do no time
some s--t gon' happen!" Being privy already to the fact that Fuhrman
was going to cop a plea, I debated whether to carry my investigation
further, thinking that if s--t is gon' happen its gon' happen without
me! Casting caution and discretion (and sometimes truth) to the winds,
as all good reporters do, I decided to stay no matter what the
consequences.
Inside the courtroom Fuhrman was natty in his pale suit; almost
handsome in a boyish sort of way, (read g instead of b and you get the
same picture), and the judge resplendent in his dark robes, appearing
ultimately wise and sagacious; justice personified. The bailiffs in
their tight creased Sheriff's garb were busy conversing on the phone or
making frequent trips to the copiously writing clerk. Important s--t
was going on! The attorneys for both sides, looking lawyerly in their
lawyerly threads, seemed on first glance to be positively stricken (or
should I say smitten) by the horde of reporters and TV coverage. So
much smoothing of hair, straightening of lapels, and tightening of ties,
I never did see! But hey, who am I to say anything; caught myself
checking the pony tail and pulling the Levis up over my a-s.
From this auspicious beginning things immediately disintegrated
into anti-climax. Fuhrman, looking at ease but a little chagrined,
copped his plea and didn't do no time. (How about that for
cut-to-the-chase reportage?) You recognize a good deal when you see one
and Fuhrman is no exception. Going to trial and facing the possibility
of four years in the can makes one stop and think, not to mention the
lawyer fees. He thought! That's about it, what else can you say about
this incredibly important matter that hasn't been said. As Johnny
Cochran's gofer, Carl, so aptly put it "another case of racial bias in
the system." He indicated he would have much more to say about the
matter at his press conference and wondered whether the black man was
ever going to get justice in this world. No time indeed!
I made my way back through the grumbling crowd, but noted with
relief that s--t had not started happening yet. The moans of outrage at
Fuhrman not going to jail were only slightly offset by two skinheads
slapping palms while audibly using the N-word. Discretion returning, I
left quickly. For a moment I had one disquieting thought. I wondered
if Nicole Brown or Ron Goldman had ever used the N-word.
John Hill
Date: Thu, 03 Oct 1996
From: chris pasek
Organization: cigarz
Subject: Hello Muse
yowza yowza yowza (sorry, Frank Zappa)
Your site is the 'mostest of the hostest'! I will tell all my
friends about your page......great mixture of info and yuck-yucks.
Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1996
From: Charles Nutter
Organization: Loyd Jones Well Service, Ltd.
We are looking for a back issue from the 1992 election when Slick Willie
was elected.
Hello Charles,
Ahh, 1992. The days before there was a WWW and a Daily Muse. We've been
going for a little over a year and it seems like such a long time.
Our archives only go back to about September 1995...
Anyway, sorry we couldn't be of much help.
Date: Tue, 08 Oct 1996
From: Angela Weiler
Subject: Penny ante
DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO??
Dear Angela,
Thanks for writing. The Daily Muse appreciates questions such as
yours because they really make us think about the meaning of it all.
So as of this day, we are ceasing publication
(see http://www.cais.net/aschnedr/musefool.htm).
Date: Tue, 08 Oct 1996
From: Reg Marshall
CC: rec.art.erotic
Subject: Hello Muse
anything to show?
Hello Reg,
How about a pair or two of underwear?
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