Enough about the flannel shirts.
The Daily Muse
is ready to take this guy on for other reasons
President Lamar
OK. The United States of America survived immense world ridicule after electing the first-ever Jimmy to run the show at the White House. But, we've got to draw the line somewhere, don't we? Come on along, while we offer some perfectly good reasons why it just won't do to have Lamar Alexander as the next commander-in-chief:

*First of all, a president named Lamar (his real name).

*Secondly, a first lady named Honey (OK, so her real name is Leslee, but...). Maybe she could change her middle name to Bunch or, better yet, Pot.

*Do we really want a president who's biggest claim to the office is that he can physically hurt the incumbent? (Remember ABUC--Alexander Beats Up Clinton?)

*Aren't we tired of financial scandals involving first families? Do we really need a daily reminder that Honey outdid Hillary Clinton--whose rags-to-riches commodity futures investments became legendary--by turning $10,000 into $330,000 in a few months just because she and Lamar (his real name) knew the right folks to make it happen?

*Running as a Washington "outsider," can the former U.S. education secretary be trusted to have learned enough geography to find the city where he was once employed?

*How can we count on someone who doesn't know the price of eggs and milk but who does know how much it costs to dry-clean 363,000 flannel shirts? (OK, so we had to get one line in about the flannel shirts.)

*Are we ready to give up "The Star-Spangled Banner" for "The Tennessee Waltz"?

*Finally, Alexander vs. Gore in 2000: Can't you wait to see how ugly things really get when two Tennesseans square off for the presidency?


We receive a scolding from Lamar
Waltz back to The Daily Muse


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