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The Dick Morris story has some media types tongue-tied. Did ABC's Peter Jennings really ask analyst Jeff Greenfield what Clinton has to do to "get over this hump"?
















Daily Muse reader Rich Moellers might have been a guest at Morris' hotel:

"I understand Dick showed his hootchie mama a copy of the speech Al Gore was to deliver to the Democratic National Convention.

"He figured if anybody knew about working with stiffs... it would be her."

Another reader's theory


Dick Morris:
Family Devalues

TIME cover, The Man Who Screwed Clinton Dick Morris, political chamelon and gun-for-hire, managed to lift Bill Clinton from the mid-term ashes of malaise, but today he threatens to bring the prez back down to surreality.
      For if the tabloids are to be believed, Morris could not keep his first name in check and may have shared state secrets with a $200-per-hour escort (about 39 times the new, improved minimum wage). He reportedly let his female friend listen in on calls with Clinton, showed her advance copies of speeches and even said he would have liked to bed Hillary if she wasn't already married.
      And so, of course, Morris quit.
      But the resignation of Clinton's top re-election strategist comes at the very climax of the president's campaign—just hours before Bubba's coronation speech at United Center.
      Needless to say, it sure puts a crimp in the prez's family values message, repeated so often in Chicago this week.
      Bobdole and the other Republicans, who have already dumped on Clinton's loose, drug-loving morals, must love all of this. But they can't cheer too loudly because until not too long ago, Morris worked for the GOP.
      Morris, reached by The Daily Muse before catching the bus out of Chi-town, offered this explanation: "Hey, I did it but I didn't enjoy it."

Sex, lies &
the First Babe

      The Republicans can't wait to get their hands on ex-Clinton campaign honcho Dick Morris. Coincidentally, the White House doesn't want to touch him with a 10-foot pole.
      Morris has been asked by a House Government Reform and Oversight Committee to come forth with all the dirt on a story in the Starr that could be really bad news for First Liability Hillary Clinton.
      According to the well-respected tabloid, Morris supposedly told girlfriend-for-hire Sherry Rowlands that (surprise, surprise) Hillary (on whom he had a crush) was the one behind the FBI file mess.
     In a written statement to the committee, Morris swore he told Sherry-baby only that "everyone thinks" Hillary was to blame—not that he knew Bubba's Babe was. (Oh, kind of like "everyone thinks" old Dick's a slimy cat who'd sell his own soul for a six-figure advance on a book deal. But we don't know it for sure...)
      To all those who have lost count of the White House scandals—or who find it strange that they're all somehow linked—Filegate's the one where Clinton security aides supposedly were caught red-handed drooling over top-secret background reports on pre-Clinton White House officials. (For Washington, this does not seem like much of a sin, but folks who care about the law say it's a big deal,.)
      Anyway, we can't wait to see the House panel subpoena Dick, Sherry, Hillary and the Star staff. Could make the Clarence Thomas hearings look like a Disney flick.














The hearing

   Agitated-looking lawmaker: "Ms. Rowlands, exactly how many toes did you suck?"
   Rowlands: "That really is none of your business, sir...er...how much is it worth to ya?"
   Agitated-looking lawmaker: "Now Mr. Morris, when did you stop lusting in your heart after Mrs. Clinton?"
   Morris: "That really is none of your business, sir...er...how much is it worth to ya? Well, if you really must know, you'll have to wait a couple of months and buy my book..."


Who's side is he on?
      So campaign strategico-for-hire Dick Morris sneaked some hot Clinton polling data to Bob Dole in hopes of prying the Republican challenger into a U.S. budget deal.
      Dole rejected the secret data, The Watergate Post learned (They're always learning stuff over there--they must still be in school). And of course, the White House says Clinton was unhappy, even "disappointed" at Morris' clandestine tactic.
      But if you're Clinton--and who wouldn't wanna be?--you've got to wonder about Morris, who's had his bread buttered by Jesse ("I- mailed-in-the-word-
'conservative'-to-Noah-Webster-for-the-first-edition") Helms. Is he the man to trust with the next 4 years of your life?
      Still, despite outward appearances, Clinton must be feeling good about things. Being a politician, he's is still one rung above political consultants on the sleaze ladder.

Yet another short-attention-span editorial


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Mosey on back to The Daily Muse


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