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Jumping ship

     The ballots were barely tabulated before President Bill's Cabinet began to make like a tree. M-i-c-k-e-y Kantor
     Word of the imminent departures of Christopher, Kantor, Perry, O'Leary, Pena and Panetta came just hours after the voting machines had been locked up and hauled away (something that should have been done to many of Tuesday's candidates).
     The official theory: Clinton wants to get rid of the deadwood, (a valid issue in Christopher's case), and make a fresh start of his second term.
     Though the exits were dramatic for their number and speed, the moves out were highly predictable. Like mice fleeing a sinking ship.
     From this neck of the woods it seems Warren, Mickey, William, Hazel, Federico and Leon want to head off to greener pastures lickety-split, before the proverbial s--t hits the f-n at Casa Bubba.
     As they say, get out while the gettin's good...

REPORT FROM MY BLOCK

     "Wandered around the block this morning, talking to the neighbors about the election results. Most of 'em admitted to voting; the few who admitted voting Republican looked a little hangdog about it..."
     So begins Muse contributor Ron Vinyard's latest block report. Here's the rest.
Election roundup

  • Ex-prostitute barely loses San Francisco city race

  • Gingrich vows: "No more Mr. Nice Guy"

  • California voters go to pot

  • Republicans: Keeping Congress is nice; won't let it go to our heads

  • Clinton enrolls in Electoral College; denies it's a "party school"

  • Perot says election "rigged"; vows private probe to find "the real winner"

  • Clinton denies he's running for anything

  • Dole's post-election plans: "Whatever I wanna to do"

  • CBSMSNBCABCCNN poll: Clinton still leading Dole 49-41%

    • Dole Defeats Clinton
    The deed is done

         The people have spoken and so it went--the Doleman never had a prayer. Even before the polls closed, the Republican-nominee-by-default let on that things weren't looking his way. "Bobdole did the best he could," he muttered after casting his ballot in Russell, Kan.
          And so election night audiences glued to their TVs in hopes of some drama were forced to switch to HBO. (The hypocritical networks begged West Coasters to vote their hearts out while in the same breath declaring it all over with before dessert could be served in the East.)
          Only left in doubt was how much things would stay the same in the hallowed halls of Congress. At last count, the Senate was leading the House, but just barely. (We may have to wait for the absentees in Guam to determine this one.)
         And where this all leaves us is where we started, with 4 more years of Bill, Hill, Chelsea and Socks. And let us not forget that today brings the dawn of the drawn-out anointment of Al Gore for the presidency of 2001: A Quaalude Odyssey.
         Boy, we can't wait. In the meantime, can we interest you in tickets to a tooth-pickin' contest?

  • Your orders and opinions are eagerly awaited.
  • Erik Kraft writes:"...Slogans for Dole/Kemp 2000. My entry: '35,040 hours to victory!'"

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