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The Daily Muse
isn't in that much of a hurry to get to heaven, we present...
Do Jest

Peek-a-Bopp Comet Hale-Bopp and Friend
We don't believe it. Do you?

     Just when you thought life couldn't be more boring, along come Do, a dear, and his Heaven's Gaters to make our day...

     Lost in the media frenzy are a few thoughts we cannot keep to ourselves:

  • The producers of The X-Files, Millennium and Jenny Jones have an easy week...
  • However, Hollywood, feeling guilty about the whole thing, announced it will not release any more silly space alien movies this summer...
  • With just weeks to go until April 15, were the 39 recently departed souls trying to escape one of life's certainties through another?
  • President Clinton, wishing to miss no opportunity to show off his foreign-policy prowess, immediately ordered Madeleine Albright to establish diplomatic relations with the Hale-Bopp UFO...
  • Is it mere coincidence that the Web Hubble telescope went on the blink just in time for NASA to dispute the existence of life behind Bopp?
  • Is Jack ("Dr. J")Kervorkian franchising?
  • California is the place we don't wanna be...

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  • Mad as heaven

         Like the endless babbling about who wore what to the Oscars, the non-stop analysis of the cult in space has gone on long enough.

         The Heaven's Gate story has gone through the logical progression of media digestion: Shock, Titilation, Revelation, Generalization, Blame, Self-analysis, (repeat)...
         Now we are ready to go through it all again with the U.S. vs McVeigh and Nichols. Just when the horrible memories of the twisted concrete and bloody toddlers have faded, we must relive the tragedy again, night after night...
         Maybe it's time for us to tune out the madness, enter our cocoons and vow not to come out again until somebody says it's safe...
         Maybe Do's starship troopers knew something after all...

         (This has been another short-attention-span editorial.)


    Hillary, looking for cover
    "The never-ending fictional conspiracy--that honest-to-
    goodness reminds me of some people's obsession with UFOs and the Hale-Bopp comet somedays."

    --Hillary Clinton, explaining
    where her mind's been lately...

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