 Rewriting history in real time... |
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The end of the world as we know it is near. He're why:
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In the he-still-doesn't- get-it department, President Bill announced he could meet with Janet Reno to discuss the campaign fund-raising fiasco "anytime, anyplace, anyhow."
"In fact, I'd be willing to have Ms. Reno over to the house for coffee if she wants," Clinton told reporters aboard Air Force One, (which was last seen heading to a country without an extradition treaty).
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Forget the Washington fund-raising mess, Paula Jones's depositions or any other so-called "important" stuff...
Listen, here's the BIG Story of the day: Ed Bradley becomes the first TV network news anchor in history (at least the first we've noticed) to face the camera with a bejeweled lobe. (We can't wait to see how many conservative sponsors will bail--all but one: Miracle Ear, of course...)
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The White House seems like a dandy place to go if you need to "find" things you really didn't know were missing in the first place...
Not too long ago, it was a box of Hillary's papers on the Whitewater mess that turned up unexpectedly in an office next to hers. Now it's a bunch of home videos of President Bill shmoozing with corporate America's finest leaders over coffee in a place called the White House "map room" (must be where all the maps are kept...).
The tapes reportedly show Clinton glad-handing with the blue suits while his aides refuse to accept large wheelbarrows full of cash the visitors managed to sneak in. Former Democratic National Chairman Don Fowler tells one eager donator to keep his money but to expect a call back soon.
"While that's not in good taste, it sure isn't illegal," ex-Clinton strategist Dick Morris explained. Guess he should know from good taste.
And while the tapes (previously secret because they could embarrass to you know who) come complete with audio, one--in which the infamous John Huang appears--is eerily silent ("Paging Rosemary Woods...").
As we like to say: Stay finely tuned (and turn up the volume...)
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In response, the White House announced the
appointment of Walt Disney's Dumbo as the president's new hearing aide.
"Not only does he (the elephant)
have big ears, but he's got a longer memory than most of us do," spokesman Mike McCurry said.
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(Redundantly repetitive) Events continue to overwhelm us, so here again is our quick take on the latest:
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Herewith is selected text from a recent Washington Post account of events in an Arlington, Va., hotel and courtroom:
...sexual...threesome...gentle...celebrities...
[Ahh, the dangers of speed-reading.]
Marv: A Cautionary Tale by reader Michelle Sabadash. |
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