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![]() the First Babe The Republicans can't wait to get their hands on ex-Clinton campaign honcho Dick Morris. Coincidentally, the White House doesn't want to touch him with a 10-foot pole. Morris has been asked by a House Government Reform and Oversight Committee to come forth with all the dirt on a story in the Starr that could be really bad news for First Liability Hillary Clinton. According to the well-respected tabloid, Morris supposedly told girlfriend-for-hire Sherry Rowlands that (surprise, surprise) Hillary (on whom he had a crush) was the one behind the FBI file mess. In a written statement to the committee, Morris swore he told Sherry-baby only that "everyone thinks" Hillary was to blame—not that he knew Bubba's Babe was. (Oh, kind of like "everyone thinks" old Dick's a slimy cat who'd sell his own soul for a six-figure advance on a book deal. But we don't know it for sure...) To all those who have lost count of the White House scandals—or who find it strange that they're all somehow linked—Filegate's the one where Clinton security aides supposedly were caught red-handed drooling over top-secret background reports on pre-Clinton White House officials. (For Washington, this does not seem like much of a sin, but folks who care about the law say it's a big deal,.) Anyway, we can't wait to see the House panel subpoena Dick, Sherry, Hillary and the Star staff. Could make the Clarence Thomas hearings look like a Disney flick. |
Agitated-looking lawmaker: "Ms. Rowlands, exactly how many toes did you suck?" Rowlands: "That really is none of your business, sir...er...how much is it worth to ya?" Agitated-looking lawmaker: "Now Mr. Morris, when did you stop lusting in your heart after Mrs. Clinton?" Morris: "That really is none of your business, sir...er...how much is it worth to ya? Well, if you really must know, you'll have to wait a couple of months and buy my book..." |
Dole rejected the secret data, The Watergate Post learned (They're always learning stuff over there--they must still be in school). And of course, the White House says Clinton was unhappy, even "disappointed" at Morris' clandestine tactic. But if you're Clinton--and who wouldn't wanna be?--you've got to wonder about Morris, who's had his bread buttered by Jesse ("I- mailed-in-the-word- 'conservative'-to-Noah-Webster-for-the-first-edition") Helms. Is he the man to trust with the next 4 years of your life? Still, despite outward appearances, Clinton must be feeling good about things. Being a politician, he's is still one rung above political consultants on the sleaze ladder.
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