The Daily Muse
Presents

The top stories of

1996

While others dwell on the year gone by,
we prefer to peek into the not-so-distant future when...

*Disney, continuing its push for adult audiences,
breaks box office records by re-releasing Toy Story.
Woody and Bo Peep
But this time the studio leaves in the steamy date scenes
between Woody and Bo Peep:

Bo (in a Mae Western voice): "Hey there, cowboy. Is that your toy pistol
or are you just glad to see me?"
Woody: "Baby, you really know how to pull my chai...string."
Bo: "Stop toying with me."
Woody: "Oh, Bo, your skin is like fine china. Let me help you find your sheep."

Cut to darkness

Bo (puffing on an unregulated tobacco product): "Frankly, Gump was a real downer. I liked you better in that space flick."

* Colin Powell, seeking material for
Colin Powell a sequel to his best-selling book, changes his
mind about his political future. The former
Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman declares he will
drop his olive hat back in the presidential ring.
Powell doesn't rule out a coup, if necessary,
to capture the White House in '96.


O.J. Simpson in uniform * The much-misunderstood O.J. Simpson
drops a bombshell. In a bid to clear his name
once and for all, the Juice announces he's returning
to pro football. But, once again to be denied his glory,
O.J. shows up at Cleveland Stadium
only to discover that the Browns have moved,
and didn't tell him where...




* Volvo, continuing its drive
to build the world's safest cars, A red Volvo
announces its 1997 models
will have a new standard feature--Driver's
Side Ejection Seats. (Driver-controlled passenger
ejection feature optional on some models.)


Note: Avid Daily Muse readers may have seen the next item previously,
but the deadline was approaching and, hey, we were desperate.

*Netscape tops itself
in the quest for the ultimate "killer app" by
ANNOUNCING THE RELEASE OF NETSCAPE NAVIGATOR 1,000.0
Future
Its slogan: "Browse Your Brain!"


*Now that Oliver Stone has had his turn with the Richard Nixon bio,
another Hollywood studio decides Sharon Stone should have her turn.
Billed as "a sexy political thriller," "All the President's Women" stars Stone as--
you guessed it--
Sharon Stone
"Deep Throat"


*In business news, making serious money
on the Internet continues to be as easy as
winning the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes
...twice in a row.


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