speak out about the events of our day...
Date: Sat, 17 Aug 1996
From: jake snake
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: Susan Molinari
yes, she still smokes
Hello Jake,
Yea, but how do you know?
Date: Sat, 17 Aug 1996
From: jtkath
Reply-To: jtkath@Earth.Sunlink.Net
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: Bill Wants it!!!
heh heh heh Bill wants to smoke a fhattie...We all know it!!!
*PEACE*
Hello JT,
Yes, but who will light it up for the Bubster?
Date: Fri, 16 Aug 1996
From: LABIBM3
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: Susan still tokes and then some
Some what?
Date: Fri, 16 Aug 1996
From: Paul Bloom
Organization: Virginia Tech
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject:
Bill wants some
Don't we all...
Date: Wed, 14 Aug 96
From: "J.C.Gordon"
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: Susie and Billy.....
Ahh, these damn kids! Whatta we gonna do about em?
Goes back to when it was revealed that Gingrich wasn't as "pure" during
his college days as his party would have had us believe. (Not sure if it
was you, but) I remember someone writing, "Well, he may be a lying,
draft-dodging, dope smoking womanizer, but he's our lying,
draft-dodging, dope smoking womaizer!" (Or was that Dan Quayle?
Whatever!)
Please refer (or was that "reefer"?) to a song by THE AUSTIN LOUNGE
LIZARDS, "We're Gonna Bust The High School Students!" (aka: "The Fight
Song").
Gotta go...Pacifica's "Democracy Now!" program is on (the cutting block
for being accused of being "hate radio"), and I have to catch it while I
can....Bye!
Hi J.C.,
I have forwarded your libelous drivel to the appropriate authorities
in San Diego, so a knock on your door after midnight from the GOP
police should come as no surprise...
From: Rob Kemp
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: Bill wants some too!
Date: Tue, 13 Aug 1996
Bill Clinton would smoke horse feces if he felt it would help his cause.
Clinton manages to control his inhaling urges through his extracurricular
activities.
Bill Clinton thinks the American people are stupid. That is consistent
with most liberals who think they know what is best for everyone else.
A liberal motto is 'Do as I say not as I do."
Hello Rob,
You have no ties to the bottom half of the Dole ticket, right? Just
thought I'd be the first to ask:}
Date: Fri, 23 Aug 1996
From: Bonnie Schmittendorf
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: clinton
"Say what you want about the president, but we know his friends have
convictions."
You can always tell when Clinton is lying, his lips are moving.
1996 Presidential Candidates
1) A floppy eared little Martian.
2) A draft dodger.
3) A war hero.
IT'S A NO BRAINER!!
Hello Bonnie,
Thanks for a bunch for stopping by The Daily Muse and taking the
time to register your valuable opinion. We believe, however, that
your remark about Ross Perot could be offensive to some Martians
we know.
Date: Sat, 24 Aug 1996
From: John Hill
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: Jack Kemp
Having just spilled an ash into my martini I
decided to take you to task on the
scurrilous peice on my old pal JACKIE. Jack
Kemp was a year behind me at OCCIDENTAL
COLLEGE and as I recall his arm was
righteous gold at that time, leading the
TIGERS to victory after victory. Granted he
was a bit of a dumb jock in those days,
hardly able to string two syllables together
to form a coherent sentence, but I'm
gratified to see that his diction and
construction have improved to such an extent
that he is capable of engaging in a debate
with ALGORE! That his arm would now be a
subject of CONTENTION at this point is
beyond my ken, especially when equated with
the POSSIBILITY that it played a part in his
DRAFT STATUS. His arm was good and true and
it worked for him vigourously. It was a fine
arm and loyal! It was an arm that spoke of
give and take and brooked no nonsense! An
arm which led our teams to glory! I remember
his words during the last game of my senior
year, trailing forty to nothing Jack pointed
to the opposite goal post and stated "Youse
guys really piss me off!" We won that GAME,
thanks to Jack's arm and his indomitable
spirit. That the government in it's wisdom
would characterize Jack's arm and the
attendant BURSITIS as unworthy of inclusion
into their military forces is their problem,
not Jack's. His consequent successful
tenure with the BUFFALO BILLS is a testament
to his perserverance and fortitude. NO
PAIN, NO GAIN has always been Jack's forte,
and without doubt he will perservere as he
always has when faced with adversity. Bully
I say, Bully for JACK KEMP and his ilk, for
they are the ones who will make AMERICA
strong!
John Hill
Date: Sat, 17 Aug 1996
From: Sue
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: Bobster balancing the budget
Should be amusing to see if he can cope with all the little time bombs
Billy-Boob has set to erupt shortly after his term is over. Balancing
the budget will probably go immediately on the back burner should he get
elected.
Howdy Sue,
The Secret Service will be immediately informed about those time bombs...
Date: Fri, 16 Aug 1996
From: Randy
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: Dob Dole and the magic numbers
If I interpreted his speech correctly, Dob Dole wants a larger, more
powerful U.S. military machine that does less, and he is going to pay
for it with a 15% tax cut while balancing the budget. Is it just me? I
feel a bit lost on this one.
Date: Tue, 27 Aug 1996
From: "Bobby G."
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: Dole Bull !!
Dear Mr. Muse,
If you believe that Dole, or anyone else for that matter, can balance
the federal budget and give the kind of tax cut he's proposing, you're a
chocolate sundae with a cherry on top. It's not just an election year
exageration, it's a bare faced lie! I'm sure his spin doctor's are
prepared to tell you "Now, he only promised to bring it before
congress", then we'll play "tag, you're it" for four years between
blaming congress and the president. Of course it'll be the "liberal,
left wing, communist, God forgotten Democrats" that's behind it all. "We
really need to get more tax breaks for the wealthy so the money can
trickle down to us." What's trickling down isn't green, it's yellow and
stinks.
Middle Class Tax Payer,
Bobby G. from K.C.
Hello Bobby G.,
We really did believe Bob Dole could do all those things and more, but
you have come along and burst our bubble. What shall we do now? Who
will our fiscal savior be? Are you currently employed? We hear there's
an opening in the Clinton campaign...
Date: Fri, 16 Aug 1996
From: Ron Vinyard
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: San Diego Blues
D'Muse,
Well, it's all over but the shoutin' in San
Diego. Folks on our block are a little disappointed
at the quietude & lack of drama inherent in the
Gnarly Old Party's party. D'ya ever see so many
well-scrubbed, tight-ass lookin' people in your
life? The high point of the whole show was Libby's
Oprah knockoff...she'll get better when she gets
some REAL geeks on the stage. Come to think of it,
though...
Everyone expected Pat and his crowd to get in
close and swing with their elbows, but they seemed
to roll over without much of a fuss. Of course, you
have to imagine that they won a moral (ahem)
victory, what with splintering planks in the
platform and getting Mr. Touchdown on the ticket.
Look forward now to Chicago...boy, that should be
a blast!
Keep up d'muse!
Date: Fri, 16 Aug
From: John Hill
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: Fiscality!!(in a nutshell)
Are you dense? Is it mere coincidence that the recent merger of Bill
Gates and AT&T, coupled with SECRET talks with the Sultan of Brunei,
comes at PRECISELY the same time as the Republican Convention? I think
not! What this bodes for the AMERICAN PEOPLE is not only a turkey in
every welfare pot, but the elimination of the NATIONAL DEBT (predicated
of course on the purchase of software,the making of more long distance
calls, and the inclusion of Brunei as the 51st state.) It must be
obvious that behind the scenes talks are well underway and by November
should be solidified. Bob Dole, under the leadership of this TRIUMVERATE
will have ALL the answers and more than adequate means to fulfill his
promises and once again push AMERICA to the forefront despite the best
efforts of the ONE WORLD cabal, the TRI LATERAL COMMISSION, and SUMITOMO
BANK! Slick Willie will have more than handfuls of T & A to contend with
when faced with POWER of this magnitude come election time, and you can
bet your bottom the AMERICAN PEOPLE will come through as the PARTY
reduces the size of GOVERNMENT to just three entities, BILL GATES, AT&T,
and THE SULTAN!
Thanks for writing, John.
If your conspiracy theory is correct, I should not even be
replying to you because Billy G. and Ma Bell are listening in.
From: Rich Moellers
Date: Thu, 15 Aug 96
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: GOP Late-nite hijinks
Dole's having a wonderful time at the convention.
Of course, he's just happy to get to stay up past ten o'clock.
Date: Wed, 14 Aug 96
From: "James R. Quinby"
Organization: US government
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: (no subject)
Is the DOLE administration going to succeed in getting Prayer
back into the school system?
Are they going to allow the justice system to protect the
innocent instead of the criminal?
Will we once again after so many many many years have freedom?
Are the tax cuts going to be for everyone or for only a select
few?
Are equal rights and equal opportunity going to be once again
equal for all Americans rather than a selected group of
races?
Are they going to put GOD back into GOD BLESS AMERICA?
Questions that I feel really need to be answered
Date: Mon, 26 Aug 1996
From: John Hill
To: aschnedr@cais.cais.com
Subject: James R. "Quinby"
As an ardent if not particularly vocal supporter of Bob Dole (read
SINISTER WAR HERO) I would like to answer the questions posed by MUSE
reader James R. "QUINBY." (Obviously a pseudonym as I have know many
"QuiMby's" in my life but never a "QuiNby." Taking the questions in
order:
1. Prayer is already in the school system! Most students pray that
they won't be shot on the way to school or in school! Others pray that
their lunch money will still be intact by noon; and still others pray
that the substitute teacher Miss Glutz, who wears mini skirts and no
bra, will show up in their class!
2. Yes FREEDOM and TAX CUTS are part and parcel of Bob Dole's
platform; FREEDOM to pay only those TAXES which are mandated and which
are only a CUT above what you're paying now!
3. EQUAL RIGHTS AND OPPORTUNITY will be PARAMOUNT in Bob Dole's
administration. He has vowed to be true to the words of GEORGE ORWELL;
"All animals are equal, only pigs are are more equal than others!"
I'm glad I was able to answer James R. "QuiNby's" IMPORTANT
QUESTIONS. If he has any more I would be happy to oblige!
John Hill
Date: Tue, 10 Sep 1996
From: John Hill
To: aschnedr@cais.cais.com
Subject: My response to QuiNby
In rereading my response to Mr. QuiNby I realize I was remiss in not
addressing a couple of points HE felt IMPORTANT but which I assumed were
self evident. I apologize, so herewith!
1. The Justice System ALREADY has its act together protecting the
INNOCENT. No greater example of this TRUTH can be found than in the case
of O.J. SIMPSON. Makes a fella feel good just knowing that the system
is working so well. Talk about your vindication! Just ask the JUICE!
2. GOD is alive and well in AMERICA! My goodness, isn't that
apparent? All I have to do is trot down to the local Mosque or Buddhist
Temple to know THAT! Sometimes I head over to the Church of The Great
Unknown or to the bi-weekly Mboto Ngoro services, but most of the time I
just hang out at the Corn God Center where I can worship Mescalito in my
own way. Don't tell me that there's no God in GOD BLESS AMERICA!
So do give my apologies to Mr. OuiNby. Now that I have answered
ALL his questions I'm sure his mind will be more at ease about the state
of things in the USA.
JH
Date: Mon, 12 Aug 1996
From: "Dennis A. Jewell"
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: your attitude
you people are as wussey as the SEATTLE MARINERS !
Hello, Dennis
Thanks for writing to The Daily Muse. Thanks for the sports metaphor.
We'll be sure to use it in an upcoming edition.
Date: Mon, 12 Aug 1996
From: "Brackett, Inc."
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: Dole's ability to balance the budget
He is a Republican.... first and foremost, the party of the top 2%. The
Party of the Wealthy. The party of "keep the rich getting richer, and to
hell with the rest". If America believes this guy has any intention of
balancing the budget, simply look back on the dismal 12 years of Reagan
and Bush ---- and remember that these guys are Dole's idols !!!
Re: Your charter membership to the Dole-Kemp Fan Club
Hello Brackett,
We feel strange replying to a piece of hardware, but thanks for
stopping by The Daily Muse and taking the time to register your
valuable opinion.
Date: Mon, 12 Aug 1996
From: Kathleen Higgins
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: Balanced bugit/tax cut
It seems to me that the only thing Dole will cut is his chance
at being the top dog. Clinton is no angel, but he is my choice of
what is available.
Date: Sun, 11 Aug 1996
From: Tempest
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: Your web site
Hello,
I just wanted to drop you a quick email to let you know just how much I
thoroughly enjoyed your site. The Chickengate part was especially
amusing. You might want to go check out
http://www.burgerparty.com. It's another parody of the upcoming election.
I found that site quite amusing as well.
Date: Sun, 11 Aug 1996
From: Craig Mayberry
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: Homosexual/Liberal mouthpiece
Hello to the Evil Empire at NBC,
I wonder if you folks know what news really is. Perhaps you should send
that little snot Katie to Arkansas to interview Jim G. Tucker who no
longer seems to be a friend of Bill. If you didn't have the abortion or
the "same sex marriage" issue to report on you wouldn't have anything at
all. I'm just a regular human and even I can plainly see that you do not
report the news with any sort of non-partisanship. Did you fire all your
investigative reporters or just send them on sabatical for the duration
of the entire Clinton administration. Does the fact that all of Mr.
Cliton's buddies are felons even spark an interest in you news room? Do
you think you might actually be able to ferret out a story somewhere in
there or does the realization of the liberal agenda and the thwarting of
the conservative agenda mean so much to you that you are willing to lay
aside any sort of journalistic principals if indeed any ever existed.
You (NBC) are nothing more than a mouth piece for the Homosexual/Liberal
agenda (and no I am not afraid of homosexuals i.e. "homophobic") and you
really ought to try to be the first to get the story before Mr. Clinton
is indicted for his role in crimes committed in Arkansas. Mr. Tucker
probably knows something why don't you pull one of your investigative
reporters off vacation and send 'em down there to at least ask a
question.
Hello Craig,
Thanks for stopping by The Daily Muse, a political humor site which you
have confused with NBC. I believe they're at http://www.nbc.com.
Hope you can stop by the Muse again. It's updated often.
Date: Sun, 11 Aug 96
From: Bill Oman
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: (no subject)
Dear Musepersons,
I think you missed the point of the Kemp for Veep pick by Dole.
In this soundbitten age, Jack has not one, but two four-letter names,
topped only by Bob Dole (one three and one four) and Al Gore ( a two and
a four.) Bush also had a four-letter name, but the front handle did him
in - six letters, too long. Dukakis lost on syllables, folks. Clinton
gets away with more syllables because he's just plain Bill and anyway,
they're more tolerant of talk down south. And Hillary? She just doesn't
get it. After the election she went from Hillary Clinton to Hillary
Rodham Clinton. People are irritated with her because she stretches
their concentration to the breaking point with a seven-syllable
signature. Dick Lamm would understand. Lamar would definitely not.
Cheers.
Date: Thu, 01 Aug 1996
From: Don Gordon
To: aschnedr@cais.com
Subject: Short attention span editorial
I cannot agree with you more and thank you! Your statement is further
proof that this site "is a class act". So much so that I might even
consider paying for your service. ;-)
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