The Daily Muse: eeeeeee!!mail (November 1996)

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Date: Fri, 29 Nov 1996
From: Jay McDonald
Subject: B-1 Bob Dornan

Really enjoyed the daily muse. Read a few back issues but failed to 
see your take on the fascinating upset of Bob Dornan here in So. Calif 
(actually Orange County). Bet you didn't know that Bob is the first 
Congressman to be cheated out of office by ILLEGAL ALIENS !!! Yes it's true 
and if those liberal pansy fellow travelers hadn't gutted the military, our 
Air Force could have shot down their saucers and America and Bob would be 
safe. Bob has asked Newt to have Congress check the voting rolls for these 
insidious aliens within our midst and Newt is supposedly going to Roswell to 
look further into the matter.            Thanks for the Muse,    jaymcd



Date: Fri, 22 Nov 1996
From: Dave Marciniak
Subject: Re: Read Bill Read

Even my cats like your stuff. Go get 'em!


Date: Wed, 27 Nov 1996
From: Harry Nemec
Subject: my first visit to your site...

I have been surfing for anyone that I can ask questions to regarding the
WW and other investigations...

The other day I was reading a time line which mentioned EDS...(EDS was a
Perot firm originally...back in the 70s...electronic money
handling...for the Social Security fund...)  Then I saw that the Rose
law firm was involved in a similar venture...and helped set up a new
company....   That was back in the 80s...   That got me thinking...then
the wildest thought...

Supposing that the folks at EDS wanted to protect their potential of
world wide electronic money transfer??? (the credit cards were going
international about that time...remember????)   Now continue the
thought....a "gang war" style thing to eliminate the competition...the
searching to protect self against it...file gate....travel gate....
(playing with it...Whitewater....Hillary's $100,000 windfall???)   

I guess my question is why are the investigators not increasing their
scope and looking for the big picture???   My hypothesis is not fully
completed...but I don't think it will be too much trouble to fill in the
pieces!!!    

Thanks for your time...    Harry Nemec

     Hello Harry,
     Questions of intrigue to ponder in our time...Maybe O.J. was on 
     the grassy knoll and Hillary's a member of the Trilateral Commission...


Date: Fri, 22 Nov 1996
From: Steve D Brown
Organization: Flashnet Communications
Subject: What's in a name?

As a former police officer aware of defense tactics of suppression of 
evidence and "spin doctoring" what's left, I would like to say I believe
O.J. Simpson to be a murdering liar, and part of the reason why white
people still call us "Nigger."

Thanks
Dan

     Hello Dan,
     Thanks for stopping by The Daily Muse and taking the 
     time to write about the trial of the (next?) century.
     We'll be sure to post your letter soon. Hope you
     realize that we're using humor to help mask the pain
     such matters bring...


Date: Tue, 19 Nov 1996
From: Chris Delisio
Subject: Sound Bites

First Madonna, now Michael Jackson? These poor kids are destined to make 
some therapist extremely wealthy.  

Bob Dole on Saturday Night Live showed the world that he wasn't the 
grumpy old man that we knew and loved. How disappointing, he should beat 
the crap out of Norm McDonald. But Bob Dole doesn't do that, Bob Dole is 
a nice guy.  

Turner vs. Murdoch in the New York cable news wars. Mr. Ted "Americans 
are stupid" Turner, isn't going to let Rupert "I own the New York Post" 
Murdoch, into the cable news industry without a fight. The big question; 
who's gets the movie rights after this is over.

Have a nice day and watch out for falling Russian probes.


Date: Friday
From: P. Huber
Subject: Dole work

How about if we think about what Bob Dole might have Bubba doing after the 
election like:
1.  seeing if those cute silver bracelets the Feds carry around are truly
unisex; another is the official poster boy for prison wear.  

2.  Being Jimmy Carter's gofer (Bubba might learn a thing about character 
because where Jimmy may have been lacking in other areas he certainly had 
that or he could work with him on a Habitat for Humanity project and learn 
a trade)

3.  Just an aside do convicted felons still get a government pension?  
Can a President after he has pardoned all his lackeys, pardon himself?


Date: Sun, 17 Nov 1996 
From: Joe Gavito 
Organization: Paranet
Subject: Dole

Maybe use Jesse Jackson as his driver.

     Hey Joe,
     Thanks for stopping by The Daily Muse. We'll be sure to forward
     your employment suggestion to Dole Retirement Headquarters. 


Date: Wed, 13 Nov 1996
From: John Hill
Subject: TYSON=DOLE

Never let it be said that the MUSE isn't right up to the minute. 
Why Lisping Boy had hardly bounced offa the canvas, and Pineapple Bob barely 
delivered his congratulations, when there it was in graphic Black and 
White for all to peruse and cogitate upon. Although I commend you for 
your impartiality I was sorry that you didn't include the rest of the 
personal communication between these two (ahem) losers. I understand 
that the BOBSTER commiserated with the MIGHTY MT on his loss and 
attributed both their defeats to SEX and the CHRISTIAN RIGHT.
     B: I sure made a big mistake my man, caving in on that abortion 
issue, but how was I to know that those women voters were so all fired 
hot to have unprotected sex? 
     MT: Know whatcha mean, know what I mean?
     B:  Uh huh, if you hadn't a tried a little unprotected sex with 
that cute little Miss Tease in your room at 3 A.M. you'd a won my man, 
cause that slop they feed you on the chain gang tends to make you fat, 
flaccid, and outta shape.
     MT: Know whatcha mean.
     B: Guess I shoulda picked my playing field better huh my man?  I 
woulda done better on the secular field rather than the holy field.
     MT: Oh yes, I know what you mean. I coulda done without the 
Holyfield too.
     B: That's right my man, sex and religion done many a good man in!
     MT: Know what you mean!
     
JH


Date: Wed, 13 Nov 1996
From: John Hill
Subject: Tyson Dole

You can trash my last message, only sent a third, wha...happen?

JH


From: Rich Moellers 
Date: Thu, 14 Nov 96 
Subject: Meeeee aaaand Mrs., Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones. 
          We got a thing going on.

Schmitz shot a man because he had a crush on him and admitted
it on the Jenny Jones show.  Now he's going to prison.  

What are the odds that some man will have a crush on him again
while he's in prison?


Date: Tue, 12 Nov 1996
From: Dave Marciniak
Subject: Read Bill Read

I think it's okay for Bill to look at FBI files because it 
gives him something to do. Better that he looks at files 
than at real live US citizens. We should dump a trainload of 
FBI files on Bill to keep him busy. Everytime he pokes his 
nose out of the Whitehouse something stupid or unwanted 
happens. Give Bill all the files he wants.


Date: Tue, 12 Nov 96
From: Chris Delisio
Subject: The election 2000

I thought of some possible running mates for Al "I'm 
really a fun guy" Gore,

Captain Planet
Forest guardian, Smokey the Bear
Alar expert, Merryl Streep
Political know-it-all, Barbara Streisand
Hillary Clinton, unless she's in jail.

This could be a fun activity for MUSE readers, find Al Gore a running 
mate.  A suggestion from someone with a bit too much time on his hands.

     
     Thanks Chris,
     I'll be forwarding your thoughts to the Bore for Four HQ ASAP.
     Now get back to whatever it is were doing...


Date: Fri, 08 Nov 1996
From: Chris Delisio 
Subject: The Election ______ (fill in the blank)

Slogan for Gore/??? 2000 campaign: I had nothing to do with what Bill 
did.



Date: Thu, 07 Nov 1996
From: Al Mac Leod
Subject: Only the Kennedy's can be rich & Care..eh..!

Happy now kids...?

The presidency now looks like your page...Good Luck America.

See ya'll at the impeachment hearings.

Al Mac Leod...San Diego


Date: Thu, 07 Nov 1996
From: Doug Thompson
Subject: I just woke up. Who the hell won?

Frankly, I think we were all upstaged by Brinkley.

     Hello Doug,
     You're right about the Brinker. I don't understand why folks are
     so shocked. He spoke his mind and ours, too. That's what he gets
     paid the big bucks to do. Well, at least he went out in a blaze
     of glory. Something we should all remember to do...


Date: Tue, 05 Nov 1996
From: Steve Ruhl
Organization: Micro Dimensions
Subject: Your web site

To whom it may concern:

Your web site is great, we at fort-wayne.com & 
chicagonet.com have a link to your daily 
muse. Our customers enjoy it. Great Job...

Steve Ruhl


Date: Wed, 06 Nov 1996
From: Dino Roggero
Subject: The Election - Pardon me!

Dear Muse,
How long do you think it will take before Bill pardons Susan McDougal?
I think he will lie low for about 6 months, then pass out the pardons.

How about a setting up a betting pool to pick the month he does it?

Keep up the great work. 
         
Dino Roggero

     Hello again, Dino,
     Thanks for your great suggestion. If we were bettin' men, we'd say 
     why wait? Get the whole thing out of the way soon so it doesn't rub
     up against the next election...



Date: Wed, 06 Nov 1996
From: Tattered
Organization: San Antonio Solutions
Subject: Good work

I especially like your "96 bottles of Geritol..." leader. It sort of
hit home. I found your mag as a link on someone's home page.  
I've linked you to my home page because -- well, you are a magazine 
and I have that as a category.

Keep up the good work.
Terry


Date: Wed, 06 Nov 1996
From: Randy
Subject: The Election ______ (fill in the blank)

The election's saddest moment:
"Bobdole did the best he could," [Bob Dole] muttered...

If that's the best HE could do, then maybe we, as Americans, really did
do the best WE could... Kinda scary either way, eh? 
 


Date: Tue, 05 Nov 1996
From: eriKraft
Subject: A contest suggestion....

...Slogans for Dole/Kemp 2000.


My entry:
 35,040 hours to victory!


Keep up the good work.

Cheers,
Erik


From: Coopster
Date: 5 Nov 1996
Subject: Your site is great

Your Site is GREAT! Never stop!

Sincerely,
Adam Cooper

     Hello Adam,
     Thanks for the kind words, but is it OK if we pause from time to 
     time?


Date: Mon, 04 Nov 1996
From: Coopster
Subject: How Bubba can possibly lose

HE DIES!


Date: Sun, 03 Nov 1996
From: Rex Webster
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Subject: How Bubba can possibly lose

What we don't realize is that the shady John Huang was importing 
Indonesian aphrodisiacs FOR  in an awful menage-a-trois 
between Bubba, Dickie-Poo and Madonna in her Evita Peron garb. Viva the 
revolution (or is that gyrations?)

Fondly,
R. Webster

     Hello Rex,
     You imagination is as wild as ours (you must
     be a graduate of of Rocky Mountain High!).


Date: Fri, 01 Nov 96 
From: Chris Delisio
Subject: How can Bubba possibly lose.

If Bubba starts blabbing about how he really wants to use the White House 
to get money and chicks.


Date: Thu, 31 Oct 96
From: Erik A. Kraft
Organization: UW-Madison
Subject: An idea...

I think it would inject some life into the faltering Dole campaign if the 
candidate came out as hip-hop M.C. Robby D. You know, appeal to the kids. 
Imagine M.C. Robby D. laying down a phat campaign rhyme, wielding a mike 
in his good hand while arythmically moving his vestigial limb. Desperate 
times...


Date: Sat, 02 Nov 1996
From: Terah L. Miller
Organization: tlynn & Co.
Subject: o.j. simpson

JACKASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Date: Fri, 01 Nov 1996 
From: Gene Carmean
Subject: page

Great Dole page.  Keep up the good work!
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