The Daily Muse: Bubba 3

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has chosen to give Bubba even more space...

Bill signing

The image of the president signing all those bills has been repeated so many times lately it seems like CNNMSNBC ("Our camera angles are better. No, ours are.") are stuck in perpetual rerun.

Each day, Bubba--favorite saying: "I love you, (fill in the _____)"-- has been trotting out to the White House lawn surrounded by ex-welfare moms, health-care victims, minimum wage earners and Dennis Rodman--human props who dropped by to demonstrate what a good job the prez is doing by signing these important pieces of legislation.

When will it all end? When all 250 million Americans have been brought through the ga tes of power and left feeling guilty enough to vote for The Man from Hope?

Califor-ni-eh: "How ya'll doin?"

A lot's happening in California. The Dole-Kemp love-in. Perot's slaughter of the Lamm. The lights going out--way before the parties were over.

But one man who out of common courtesy is supposed to keep a low profile during these goings on probably won't be able to stay out of the spotlight.

Yes, rumor has it (as rumors are wont to do) that President Bill will be stopping by the Republican and Reform Party get-togethers to shake a few hands.

His unindictable aides tried to keep him away, but Boss Bubba said he couldn't wait until the Democrats got together in Chicago and thought he just might a find a few friends at the Golden State conventions...

The wait . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . is over

Bill & Al finally launch their official campaign Web site.

Which raises two questions:

1) Are they running for something?

2) Why are we always the last to know?

Done 'n Paid for by Bubba/Bore ’96 Primary Committee, Inc.

Our hero

Having just viewed Independence Day, we're really wondering if Hollywood is trying to send a message to Bill Clinton. Without giving the plot away to the two of you who haven't seen it (or the 60 million of you who have but missed the scene while sneaking out to watch Rocky XXIII--Geratol vs Roids), they knocked off

the first lady and made the president a last-minute military hero.

So if life imitates art (loosely speaking), President Billy-Bob could finally win over the veterans and shed those Whitewater and Filegate messes once and for all. Picture it: Overcome with grief at the loss of his missus--Bubba mounts a stealth bomber and heads over the horizon...

Bill Clinton: Coming this fall to an Iraqi dictator near you

It wasn't The Watergate, either

With all the hot books being read in Washington this summer, it's a wonder any of the public's business gets done.

First came Post-er Boy Bob Woodward's tome "The Choice," which told us all about the interesting company Hillary Clinton keeps and Bob Dole's desire for a perfect running mate.

Now raising titters is Gary Aldrich, with his "Unlimited Access: An FBI Agent Inside the Clinton White House." Among the juiciest bits in the former G-man's expose (what is it with the White House and the FBI these days, anway?): President Bill regularly slipped out of the Executive Mansion and into a downtown Marriott Hotel to rendezvous with a woman not his wife.

Shockingly, Clinton's top aides have expended a lot of breath trying to knock this one down. Aldrich's "story couldn't get past the fact checker at the National Enquirer," says top aide George ("I-still-get-carded") Stephanopoulos, who works in a place where facts always need checking.

Yet our extremely underpaid and unreliable sources back up Stephanopoulos--up to a point.

They say the First Man favors the Holiday Inn, but who's quibbling?

Morally unfit?

Doctors at Bethesda Naval Hospital who poked and prodded President Clinton at his annual checkup declared him healthy as a horse but said a battery of tests failed to detect his moral center.

Clinton promised to bone up and do better next year...

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